What to do when your partner turns away
How to read your partner
If you notice that your partner seems to be annoyed or is turning away from you, here are some things you can try.
First of all, we want to make sure that you don't injure your partner if they are already feeling emotionally distant, so do a self check-in with yourself before you even approach to ensure that you are not emotionally charged or feeling tension towards your partner. Make sure you have the ability to approach with empathy and ask them if there is something they may need from you that hasn't been provided. The important part is to listen in a way that you are hearing their experience, and not to instantly personalize it to you. Our partners often deal with external stressors and then feel distant if they don't feel heard or understood, and it may have nothing to do with anything you've done.
How to approach your partner
Approaching your partner gently to say that you've noticed that they may be pulling away from you, and you are wondering how you can support them in whatever they may need may be a great way to approach them. Your partner may not have the words to express themselves, so be patient in allowing them space to be able to put together their thoughts together so they can vocalize their experience.
If this is an ongoing experience that you have been having with your partner, it may be best to seek out the help of a couples therapist that can help facilitate a deeper conversation and help you to navigate solutions.
As far as pulling back from the situation, I would recommend being aware of how you are responding to your partner and being aware if you are using critical or negative remarks, which would not be the most inviting space for your partner to feel safe, open, and honest with you.
Some possible signs to pay attention to is if your partner is responding differently to you. They may normally be quite talkative, but if they start giving you brief statements it may be a sign to pay attention to. We all respond to situations differently, but if the response is a criticism, its defensive in nature, or if they are less engaged than usual there may be an opportunity to approach your partner and to communicate your needs.
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